Pissed the hell ...who the hell is she???

Ok…so I looked up the word grandmother and this is what I come across…fuck it…I don’t want to. I told this lady like 2 weeks ago when my account went on the hole like 149.00 or what ever it was, that I was goin to be late with her rent money (first point to keep in mind..rent???) We had this conversation, and at the end of it, she was like how does that concern me. I never asked her for her help because that aint who I am. I take responsibility for my own actions. I was the one that did it…so man up. And I did. I got it taken care of, and now have about 6 whole dollars in the bank. My Insurance is about 1 week late, and I am waiting for the second notice. When it comes, I don’t know what I am goin to…but one day at a time worry about that when it gets here. So today when I walk in the house its like 10:50 pm. She came out of the bathroom and I said hi grandma…the first thing that came out of her mouth was when are you goin to pay me my rent. I started to pretend like I didn’t hear her, but that is not the adult way to handle it. I simply approached her (and I didn’t have an attitude like I usually do), and told her that I have 6 dollars in the bank. She looked at me and said so…I want my money and shrugged her shoulders…”you gotta pay rent somewhere no matter where you go”. Yea I know that, but I am at home…somewhere that I have called home since like I was 5 years old. It was at the very point that I felt like I was so alone. How can this woman that I call my grandmother be so caught up in what I owe her. She acts like I want to be here with her…I don’t. I hate (hate is a very strong word) every minute of it. I cant play my music loud, her brother is here, I cant have company over like I want to, and to farther top it off, I cant walk around butt ass naked. She act like I aint doing nothing with my life except just working at the local McDonald or something (no offence to those who work there). But I am a college educated black man, working on a master degree to farther myself. I paid out of pocket for my undergrad classes, and I have to do the same again for winter quarter classes. This money is due Dec 29…it came in the mail today…if I don’t pay it, they drop you from the class. I mean my first year out, (depending on where I go ATL, or the 614) I will be making at least 42,000 off rip. The lil 235.00 that I owe her will be so minuscule. Every time that I am around one of her friends, and my name comes up, she be like yea…I am pround of him…blah blah blah…but now, I really don’t believe her. She is such a dam greedy hog…and it bothers me. It goes back to last year when I first got my car (NOV 2004). I knew that I was a substitute teacher, and I was fine with that at the time. I had my old beat up car, that would not work in the rain, the breaks needed about 800.00 worth of repairs, and it was just a lot wrong with that car. It got me through the times, but….i needed to get around the city being a sub teacher. So I went and got my used Mazda 6…yes used. The minute that I pulled up in the driveway, her eyes lit up and were like JACKPOT. I can milk him for some money…and she has been. I was so bad that she wanted me to pay her over the summer, and I wasn’t even here because I was at camp…now that is a damn shame. That is how I know she is in it for the money. And to piss me off even more she is always going to damn river boat…blowing it away. I just be like you claim that you are so broke, and yet….you goin to the boat…WHAT THE HELL. Or you get all of this shit that don’t nobody need, or that don’t in no way help no one out. If anyone knows my schedule, you know that I aint never here, so I cant run up a electric bill. All that I have is my computer and that is after 9 because I be in class, and if that is the case, then you know what you have to eat out because you aint never at home….so like I said before, I really don’t know where my money be going. 200 for rent, 35 for internet. In case you are wondering, I still have the net because that is how I get some of my jobs when I don’t have one…I wake up at like 4 am, and see what is out there…NO NET…NO JOB…NO JOB…NO MONEY…and that is a step backwards right now. I mean I am already stressed out about money, Alpha, school, girlfriend, teaching, being a black male (not in any order), and now with this shit...what the fuck..i am too stressed for all of this. With bill collectors, you can hang up on them, but with someone that you live with…I don’t know. So this is how I feel… since I am payin her money to stay here, this is where I live…she bed not ask me for shit from now on. The only dishes that I will wash is my own…takin the trash out…NOT…helping her around the house because she cant do stuff no more like run the sweeper…she better call somebody else…cause like I aint on it...takin that nigga that I call uncle Bobby to church…no more…nigga better walk…doing stuff around the house….lol…right…you better ask somebody….I am bout to act a fool, and be the worst housemate. This is why people I aint never at home, I don’t want to put up with this bullshit…and that is all it is. I have enough to put up with just because that is life. But all in all…I am going to get my master degree, and NO ONE will stand in my way. This shit is for the birds.


Radio